Life is what happens while you are making other plans

After 2 weeks of sub zero temperatures and the calendar turned over to yet another new year - I am aware that while I had intended to blog more last summer - life happened! It was a great summer overall. My intentions to stay close to home and focus on Nammah and my own rootedness were largely successful. I stayed home for a solid 8 weeks - venturing away for only short trips to town, intermittent work responsibilities or day adventures. Each day was a meandering into what was calling for that day.

Our Icelandic chicken flock continues to grow slowly. We add a few chicks each summer - then cull the roosters in the spring when we realize just how many there are! Our late hatches are difficult to identify until they bound out in the spring, ready to sow their own seeds. Last spring was particularly traumatic when 5 roosters ganged up on poor Gudrun (the matriarch) #MeToo! Sara was away weaving music with Naomi Shihab Nye at a writing retreat. I was left alone to fend them off. We learned a difficult lesson. Too many roosters in the hen house is NOT good for anyone (or anything as far as we could tell.) Sara wrote a new song inspired by the experience and I overcame my own intimidation of the roosters.

One of the new Nammah ventures that helped to secure the home boundedness was a foray into what I called "meat birds." Sara built me an amazing chicken tractor and I bought 25 chicks that arrived in the mail on June 16. It was a rocky start and a rocky finish (with losses) but the 15 approx. 5# broilers in the freezer are better tasting then I imagined! IF we are going to be meat eaters, I love the notion of adding to our sustainable life style by raising our own meat. We know how it was cared for, what it ate, etc. I have the urge to be THAT close to my food. All of it! Or as much of it as we can accomplish.

This experiment really had me questioning it all. While I thought I was pulling out of the large industrial complex of food production, it also felt like-in ways-that I had stepped right into it! Though I raised the birds in my own small scale "idyllic" manner, they clearly were bred and "pre-produced" just for something less than an idyllic life. They grew too fast, did't really appreciate the green pasture I provided for them and were down right mean to each other. I did not grow to appreciate them the way I did our Icelandic birds. I still feel conflicted about it all. And I am grateful for the lessons. If THIS meat does feel feel OK for me to eat, then I cannot be a meat eater. I still am - so will try again in a couple of years with a different variety of chicken. One with less of a "designer DNA."

Nammah's Garden herself had a mixed year. The plan that her year off would lead to richer soils and fewer weeds/bugs (due to chicken activity and permaculture (ish) tactics) again went more according to the life that happened. It was a difficult year for many gardeners I know. Colder spring - wetter summer - though a longer fall. Still, the tomatoes were few and far between and mealy rather than garden fresh tasting.

The banner crops were the delicate squash, asparagus and berries. Berries and berries and berries! I am grateful for what was - also grateful that: a) I don't need to make a living on my productivity, and b) That we also don't need to rely on only what we produce to eat. Though at times I think I could just quit my job and live a sustainable life, I am struck with the reality (and gratitude) that I have a paying job! #MoreParadox and #MixedFeelings.

The abundance of berries was a particular challenge as my lead berry picker AND weeder was gone for 2 months out of the summer. Sara was part of the Missouri River NibiWalk. This 54 day (it turned out to be) "extended prayer for the water" was a great opportunity for her to further live her values. It was a challenge for both of us AND provided some important gifts ad lessons for us as well. I had the opportunity to practice what I called my own personal Dayenu (Hebrew:דַּיֵּנוּ‬). We have sung this song with Rabbi Amy and our Three Altos group as part of the Jewish holiday of Passover. The word "Dayenu" means approximately "it would have been enough", "it would have been sufficient", or "it would have sufficed". I have been struck by this notion and tried to incorporate it into my summer mantra. I can tend to focus on how many of my plans did NOT happen instead of what was. Each day I would ask myself what one thing would be enough for the day - if it could only be one thing - and that one that would be enough. Especially with Sara gone, it was a great spiritual practice for me as there was so much I could NOT do. And I SO wanted the summer to feel spacious and re-juvinating. I'm not sure that it was ALL of that. But it was enough! :)

The weeds on the paths grew out of control. But Sara came home! Life continues and I continue to make other plans.